It was, like, so, embarrassing. Okay so I was just like chilling in the pool with my friends Steph and Ash, and I, like, felt that my bikini top was gonna like pop off or something. I mean, it was so loose! So anyway, I asked my gals if they could help me out- ya know? I was like guys can you tighten up my top for me, it’s totally gonna blow off lol, and obviously they said yes, I mean, they’re my gals! So they are en trein de tightening up my top, and then Bobbly Valone, who weighs like 5 million kilos, does a cannonball into the pool, and water goes flying everywhere, and Steph, who was tightening up my bikini lets go. And like, although some people say she might have done it on purpose, they’re like- it’s not like the 2004 Asian tsunami came and took my top with it, I choose to believe that she would never do that to me. I mean, I know she was jealous that I was dating Josh at the time, but like COME ON- she’s my gal! Anyway though my friend’s were totally awesome. They covered me up with a towel right away and sat with me for like hours while I bawled my eyes out.
I remember the humiliation. It was brutal, everyone was staring at me and my premature (at the time!) boobs! I seriously thought I would just drown right there, or rather, I hoped I would. I was seriously pissed off at Bobbly Valone and, if I’m being honest, I was seriously pissed off at Step to.. I mean, butter fingers much?
I totally imagine Austria-Hungary to feel this way after Serbian terrorists killed their ruler. I mean, they basically did a cannonball into their pool (or like allowed it to happen at least- the Serbian government did nothing to avoid conflict at the time also because of nationalism), ripping off Franz Ferdinand’s bikini top, right? Oh, and his wife’s too- forgot about her. And like, just like I expected my friends to come out and help me after just being humiliated past the point of existence, I understand why they expected Germany to come rushing to their side. I mean come ON Steph, oops I mean Germany, you know you gotta. I could imagine what they’d do if Germany didn’t stick up for them at the time, probably like throw a huge sleepover party and not invite them, I mean, that’s what I would do.
Anyway so boys will be boys and obviously Bobby Valone was like it’s not my fault you can’t be normal and go to the bathroom to get naked and then everyone went crazy like how can he say that to me, right? So like that’s sort of what the Serbians did they were like *shrug* and like turned the other way. I mean, don’t they realize that like those terrorists were SERBIAN? Anyway so like yeah.
So like the support of my friends was all intimidating to the boys, ‘cause they’re such losers. So for the next like month or so we didn’t like invite each other to parties and we were all sort of mean to each other. I know I should’ve felt like responsible or something, cause it all sort of started with me, but all I could think was that EVERYONE HAD SEEN ME, and then the humiliation and anger rose back up and I didn’t care. I mean, that’s probably how Austria-Hungary felt right? Like they were probably pissed off throughout the whole war, like Serbia totally embarrassed them.
If you think about it, I mean, the US is also a short term problem since they’re always butting into like other people’s business. They did so in the war, and they’re kinda doing it now giving like ultimatums to Syria and stuff.
Also, the stuff that happened to me and Bobby Valentino is sort of like how Sryria supposedly used chemical weapons and the US had set out a red line for that, which they crossed. That sort of humiliated them, because they weren’t being respected, and they couldn’t just let it pass because that would be shameful to them.
Finally, the last short term cause is the underlying tension that built up between the states, which is sort of what happened to the girls and guys at the party- as I explained. That’s sort of what’s happening now in the Arab spring because all the groups of allied countries are against each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment